[Dean keeps telling himself this; it's not like she's dead. It's not like he doesn't know perfectly well that she's fine. It's not like she can never come back. Of course, as far down the philosophical trail as he gets is "What is death if not moving into another world where no one who loves you can reach you?" and then he comes straight back because that's not him. That's not who he is.
This isn't, as Dick well knows, the worst thing Dean has been through either. But with everything else, with the little voice that lives in the back of his head and was telling him the entire time that this is exactly what would happen because he always screws it up and no one stays, it's taking him a minute to bounce back. He shakes his head.]
When I left, I didn't go home. I went to her world to check on her, and she caught me at it. She didn't say, then, that she wasn't coming back. But I knew anyway. Hoped I was wrong, but...
[He pauses at the hatch, eyes the ladder, decides he's not up to being that stubborn without something better on this wrist than his gumption and determination; heads for the elevator instead.]
Anyway. Wow. Guess I have to make up some ground on the emo front without Sammy here.
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[Dean keeps telling himself this; it's not like she's dead. It's not like he doesn't know perfectly well that she's fine. It's not like she can never come back. Of course, as far down the philosophical trail as he gets is "What is death if not moving into another world where no one who loves you can reach you?" and then he comes straight back because that's not him. That's not who he is.
This isn't, as Dick well knows, the worst thing Dean has been through either. But with everything else, with the little voice that lives in the back of his head and was telling him the entire time that this is exactly what would happen because he always screws it up and no one stays, it's taking him a minute to bounce back. He shakes his head.]
When I left, I didn't go home. I went to her world to check on her, and she caught me at it. She didn't say, then, that she wasn't coming back. But I knew anyway. Hoped I was wrong, but...
[He pauses at the hatch, eyes the ladder, decides he's not up to being that stubborn without something better on this wrist than his gumption and determination; heads for the elevator instead.]
Anyway. Wow. Guess I have to make up some ground on the emo front without Sammy here.