batmanschmatman | 038 [audio]

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038 [audio]

I know it's kind of ridiculous to try to look for a point to any of this? But I still think it if we were going to be able to be contacted by people not on the Barge, it would have been more handy to let us pick who we could contact. And when to contact them in the timeline.

I hate time travel.

[Private to Costigan]

I saw you talking with Sullivan. How are you doing?

[Private to Hayley]

So, I met your Harvey.

[Private to Bruce; added a little later]

You told Crane?

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[That gets a light snort.] I think that's a lesson he should learn pretty quickly. The other wardens aren't going to put up with him interfering very much. I mean... I doubt Eames is going to let this go, or he shouldn't. The problem with this is that Bruce is denying it and Crane isn't the most trustworthy of inmates, and I doubt Bruce left much evidence behind. And that's just--unfair.

[Why yes, she is thinking of the time Tim had to spend a week in Zero for beating up the Joker after he killed Shego. If people beat on Crane for being a douche, he'd be getting attacked every week.]

I just don't get why he waited this long to do something. If he was going to attack Crane, why not do it right after he filmed Perry and Rex? And why tell him who he was if he's just going to play with him and act like "Bruce Wayne, airheaded socialite" in front of everyone else? He's really just making everything worse.

And not to sound horrible? Because he's a total jackass and everything, but I still love the guy, but I hope Eames does do something. If we're going to stop him from pulling this kind of thing every few weeks, people can't let him get away with it.

Seriously. Waiting that long to do something, it's... Look, this will be a horrible metaphor, but you can't punish children or animals so long after they've done something wrong that they don't remember what they're being punished for. And if one parent gives a punishment, it's not up to... the next door neighbor to come along and try to punish them too.

Not just him, either. If he was anyone else, it would be easy to prove it happened, and any warden that attacks an inmate--theirs or not--should be punished. Especially when it's not their place to step in. And that's not even getting into how much this might have damaged whatever progress Eames was making with Crane. It's not okay. Maybe I've been spending too much time with Howie, but if we're going to just undermine each other all the time without any repercussions, what's the point?

No, I think that's a pretty fair metaphor. I mean, obviously Crane isn't a kid, but delaying punishment for anything is rarely a good idea.

There isn't one. Especially when you know he's going to throw a fit when someone tries to tell him he's not doing a good job with his inmate.

I don't know, Cissie. I'm not really sure what my next step should be outside of just telling him to get the hell out of my life for a while. If he can't be bothered to let me know he's blowing our cover and god knows what else, what's the point?

[Cissie continues walking quietly, thinking. She's not sure this is a good idea or not, but it's a nagging feeling she's getting.] I think... maybe that's what you need to do. Or at least, you have to make it clear how much he's screwed up with this. I mean--hear me out. I think the only people who can get through to him here are you and Tim. Maybe Steph, but I don't know much about that. What would he do if any of you pulled that kind of stunt?

He'd flip out. [The answer was pretty immediate, and obvious. It wasn't like Bruce didn't trust their judgment, but he was definitely a control freak. It was why he'd wanted to meet Sylar and Costigan, and thank god he'd at least backed off on that issue.

Dick was quiet for a moment before laughing softly.] Costigan thinks I should try punching him in the face.

[That surprises a laugh out of Cissie.] It might surprise him, but it might take more than one punch to knock sense into him, if that's your goal.

Yeah, I don't think you're wrong. [And he's quiet for a moment, the faint smile sort of fading.]

I don't think the Barge is really the best place for him, honestly. I don't know if he'll ever really get it unless someone sits him down and makes it sound like our inmates are basically our "cities", and therefore Jim's the new Gotham or something. I mean, he trusted me with a city, he doesn't care about what goes on in Metropolis or Star City unless like, Two-Face is hanging out there... You'd think letting someone be in charge of a city's a way bigger judgment call then just one person's well being.

You would think, [she agrees, making a face.]

...You know, I think you and Tim need to talk about this. Figure out together how to handle it, because he'll have a harder time fighting against a united front than the two of you reacting emotionally on your own. And maybe he needs to hear that metaphor, but he might also need to hear what an ass he's being and... maybe you need to shut him out until he gets it. Maybe he needs, like, an intervention, but mostly I think the two of you probably know him best and have probably the best chance of getting through to him.

Yeah, believe me, aside from the "Bruce this can't be how you act around here" talk, I've got literally no interest in engaging with him right now. If he can't... If he doesn't realize what kind of effect all that's going to have on me, I don't really know why I'm bothering, honestly.

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038 [audio]

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