batmanschmatman | 016 [audio]

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016 [audio]

So, don't get me wrong, I appreciate that there hasn't been much mass murder and mayhem since we got back from port. Aside from all this politics stuff that I'm not getting into - by personal choice, I trust the rest of you who are actually more involved with the situation to be able to sort it out - I think it's pretty safe to say things have been pretty quiet, all things considered.

And that's fine. Seriously, I'm definitely not complaining about the apparent lack of horrible crisis situations with dozens of people dying or anything like that. Heck, I've even been kind of enjoying having some time to take it easy, I guess.

But it's the excessive down time I really can't figure out what to do with. I mean, sure, it's nice to have some time to relax and hang out in CES or watch movies or whatever, but I'm used to always having something to do with myself. And I don't just mean helping out an inmate or something, like a tangible case or something to work on. People to interview, places to stake out, paper work to file... I was basically living from one difficult case or catastrophe to the next, and without that everything's felt kind of... weird, these last couple days. I guess somewhere between being a cop and coming here I forgot how to just be used to having some free time to kill.

Anyone got any suggestions on how to cope until the next catastrophe?

[Private to Steph]

Sorry I skipped out on lessons without warning you about it. You up for some more practice later tonight?

[Private to Hayley]

This doesn't change anything.

[ooc: So this is an audio because Dick broke his nose. And it's sort of a funny/embarrassing story, the bruises are still really colorful/noticeable, and therefore no video for you, Barge. Infirmary folk would know it happened twoish days ago in CES while sparring with Costigan, who broke/fractured one of his ribs. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. :| ]

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"Oh, so it's all my fault?" [She snapped back, not even close to letting this go.]

[Hayley straightened from leaning on the door, but she still stood very much in front of it to prevent Dick from leaving until it was on her terms or he forced her. Again, her voice leveled out.] "It wasn't just curiosity or whatever. I actually thought we were friends. But then Ariadne shows up and, what? I'm supposed to just ignore her being here? ..For once? I'm going to be selfish. If you want to end.. whatever this is, for the older, warden version? Go ahead. If you want to stay friends? ...That's what I want, but that means you don't talk to her."

[She quieted slightly again, hurt finally touching her tone.] "I can't.. I won't put myself in that position.. Like, where we can become good friends and I actually trust you and tell you anything about me and then you turn around and abandon me for her? I'm sorry. I won't."

[Dick had been literally a second away from snapping about how she couldn't tell him who he could and couldn't be friends with when she clarified her thinking, and he couldn't help it. A tired, fairly bitter laugh escaped before he could stop himself, shaking his head slightly.]

I guess I was wrong. If you think that, that I'd just abandon you, regardless of how I feel or felt about Ariadne? You don't know anything about me at all.

[Hayley actually got defensive at that, both anger and hurt culminating in an unpleasant tone as she resisted yelling at him again.]

"You don't know anything about me. If you knew.. " [She trailed off, shaking her head. The girl was still angry with him.] "Maybe you're right. It's not like we've been friends that long. I mean, I read about you and I know.. some things in your past I was hoping to help you with, sure, but how much do I really know?"

[The inmate shrugged, sidling into nonchalance again.] "Whatever. If I don't know anything about you, then it shouldn't be a big deal."

[When he spoke, the bitterness had been replaced with hurt again.] I guess not. But it still is to me.

[And that still didn't change anything. He'd opened up to her, admittedly sort of under threat of blackmail, but he'd sort of trusted her, just like he'd trusted too many other people, and once again all it got him was more angst and frustration then he'd wanted going into it. Why bothering opening up to anyone if that was all you were going to get in return?

... So maybe it was inevitable after all, this whole "turning into Batman" thing. If you didn't trust anyone, you couldn't be hurt anymore.]

[Hayley shifted uncomfortably, then anxiously.] "Okay, you have to know this isn't easy for me, but what else am I supposed to do? You can't promise me that you'll still be my friend after you know what I've done and I just.. I'm not ready to deal with that kind of rejection again right now. Not if you're still friends with her. I don't want to have to worry that every time you're hanging out with me, you're thinking about her... I know it seems like this isn't a fair decision, but it's not fair that I even have to make it."

[Then there was a pause and the inmate stuffed her hand in her pocket, drawing out Harvey's coin. She considered allowing it to make the choice, but she'd promised Harvey never again, so instead she just held it between her fingers, staring down at the memory.] "You would get it, if you knew me better.. why I need you to choose."

[Dick watched as she drew out the familiar but not really coin, once again a little disturbed by the seemingly lingering presence of Harvey Dent in all of this. But after she said her piece, he spoke honestly, and without force, just a kind of resolution.] And if you knew me better, you would get why I can't.

[It was true. He couldn't make a choice between the two of them, and he didn't want to. And until Hayley gave him reason otherwise, he was still going to care about her. Hell, even then he might stick around. Dick wasn't really known for his ability to let things or people go.] If this is what you need me to do right now, back off and not be involved because I won't pick one of you over the other or honor your "deal"? Then fine. But this doesn't change anything.

[Hayley rolled her eyes as she dropped her hands to her sides and looked up at him. She understood everything he was saying, sure, but she didn't do well with playing partially friends and she couldn't renege on her deal. The only obvious option in her mind was to push him away. The same she had done with Capa for a time.]

"You can't just stick your head in the sand and hope this goes away. If you don't choose? Then she already chose for you. I won't talk to you, I won't acknowledge you, and hopefully I won't even see you much. There's plenty of other people you can talk to you about.. what happened. And I encourage it, really. I do. It helped me. But I'm not going to.." [It took her a second to realize what she'd just said, so she stumbled for a beat, then quickly recovered as if nothing had happened. Hayley had been spending too much time with Capa lately.] "..to be that person. Maybe you can trust her with it. I mean, we're basically interchangeable, right?"

[QUICK! Distraction by sarcasm!]

Edited 2011-02-02 07:45 (UTC)

[The pushing would probably work, at least, for a little while. Already, Dick kind of just wanted to go figure out where Tim or Steph or someone was and do some sparring or something to take his mind off of all this, but for the long term? She'd have to do better then that.

And he didn't miss the stumble, or the words that had come before it. Frankly, he'd suspected something along those lines since they'd talked about what had happened with him, so the accidental admission didn't surprise him. He did, however, ignore it, moving on to her brush off.] You're not.

This isn't just because of... what we talked about. [He was still not calling it anything, or really even acknowledging it.] If this is what you want, fine. But I'm serious. This doesn't. change. anything.

"Would you stop saying that?" [She yelled at him, dropping her entire facade for a moment.] "Please. Just stop."

[Hayley paused, took a deep breath, and started over in a very slow, deliberate, and almost demeaning tone as she tried to explain.] "I like you a lot, Dick, but it's more than creepy. I-- I already have trust issues. I don't want to worry about thinking people might like her because she's like me, except.. prettier, more mature, whatever. I know you wouldn't consciously do it, but everyone does it. I compare Jon and Capa and I have trouble talking to Arthur since he looks so much like Rex did for awhile."

[A pause, then a change of thoughts in a slightly more naturalistic tone.] "Capa said he thought you were good for me, because you're one of the few friends I have who's a warden and decent guy. But.. I can't always be wondering and I.. I won't be able to trust you with anything when I don't know exactly how close you and I are and exactly how close you are with her."

[Dick shrugged, sort of defeated. It was pretty clear this wasn't going anywhere, and his defensive walls were starting to go up. Even the emotional punching bag of the Batfamily had his limits, and he sort of wanted to go retreat on himself for a while rather then stand around and let someone he'd considered a friend try to tell him how he should or shouldn't act and telling him how they couldn't trust him. He'd taken enough abuse from people closer to him then Hayley to know that sticking around trying to argue was only going to make things worse, and he didn't need that.] Then I guess that's it, if you can't trust me.

"That's not what I--" [No, that was what she had said.] "I mean, okay, that is what I said. But it's your choice for it to be that way."

[Hayley paused, then she stepped out of the way of the door so that he could leave whenever he wanted. Then she said something she knew she shouldn't.] "I guess I just feel like if you really cared and wanted to be friends? You'd be willing to make the effort to choose me for awhile."

That's not how I do things. I don't pick people.

[Because when he did, he alienated people he cared about and apparently was a leading factor in pushing them away to start working for or with the League of Assassins. He wasn't that person, and he wasn't going to be, even if it meant staying on the Barge forever. And there was still something in his tone that held the frustration and confusion of "but you apparently do and you didn't pick me, so what's that supposed to say about us being 'friends'?"

He headed for the door.]

"Yeah, well. I guess I do." [Hayley paused, then frowned when she saw him moving toward the door. She took a step farther back away from him, but spoke up again before the warden could escape.] "And so does she, apparently, because I tried to pick you and she wouldn't let me. She gave me Cooper instead."

[It was the truth, to a large extent. While Hayley hadn't fought tooth and nail or anything, she had tried to choose Dick and Ariadne had taken that away from her and given her Cooper instead. In Hayley's mind, Ariadne was as much to blame as she was and it wasn't fair for Dick to be angry with her without being angry at the warden too.]

[Dick was unimpressed by the exaggeration. He'd talked to Ariadne, he'd seen the conversation, and he knew what had happened.]

Yeah, I think she said that to get you off her back. When we talked, she was very clear I could be friends with you if I wanted, and I should keep being friends with you. The only one who cares about keeping things separate is you, Hayley.

[Wrong answer, Dick. Hayley immediately felt like he and Ariadne were already in league against her and her expression instantly contorted to one of sincere hurt and anger. She moved forward to unlock and open the door for him, not willing to even look at him now.]

"Get out."

Fine.

[And that was that.]

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016 [audio]

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