001 [video] introduction

[batmanschmatman]

So, I guess I should probably get around to introducing myself or something. I'm Dick, and I'm a new warden around here. Seems like an... interesting place so far.

... Sooooo, does anyone know when I'm actually supposed to get assigned an inmate to keep an eye on?

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[batmanschmatman]

Tim, don't worry about it. Eternal optimism aside, I've kind of learned my lesson about blindly trusting people. Seriously this time. [AKA Tarantula, wth was that.]

And besides, I've got a bit of Bat paranoia going on too. Just apparently not as bad as you.

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[peektuttut]

[They will just never talk about that ever, right. Tim nods. Shhh it's not his fault he's turning into Bruce. (Well maybe it is.)] All right, okay. Good.

[Aaaand he's rubbingthe back of his neck because this is the worst part.] There's, uh. One other, kind of important part about the Barge. Might not have come up.

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[batmanschmatman]

Andddd that would be...?

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[peektuttut]

That in some other universe our entire lives are fictionalized and recorded in comic books and...really, really awful movies. That's, uh. That's how Hayley and Martha figured it out.

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[batmanschmatman]

That's... interesting.

[Which really means wtf since when.]

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[peektuttut]

[Dick you are getting a LOOK.] Way to downplay it.

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[batmanschmatman]

It's downplay it or watch my brain explode. Take your pick.

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[peektuttut]

...Yeah, okay. [He freaked out mightily. :c] It hasn't come up much since I found out, at least. [And he's just. Going to snort.] There are these terrible movies, though - I mean, you'll want to laugh and be offended all at once.

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[batmanschmatman]

... Okay, now I'm getting a little weirded out. How bad are we talking?

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[peektuttut]

[Tim is just going to shake his head and cover his face to hide another snort.] Bad. It's campy and terrible and mostly wrong. I think you might have to watch this. [Because he needs to share the pain.]

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[batmanschmatman]

If I suffer some kind of mental breakdown because of this, I'm blaming you. Just so we're clear.

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[peektuttut]

I'll probably join you if I have to watch it a third time. [Because Batman & Robin causes all kinds of mental stress. For everyone.]

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[batmanschmatman]

How'd you get your hands on them?

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[peektuttut]

The library.

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[batmanschmatman]

They're just sitting around for anyone to watch?

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[peektuttut]

They've been sitting in my room since I found them.

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[batmanschmatman]

I knew there was a reason we kept you around.

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[peektuttut]

Apparently, I've got my uses.

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[batmanschmatman]

Apparently.

So... How's this place been treating you? [Concerned Older Brother Mode is go for launch.]

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[peektuttut]

[He missed old!Dick. :c]It's been worse. Some of the floods and ports can get really...awful. It all depends.

...I have a girlfriend?

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[batmanschmatman]

[Join the club, Tim. ;; ]

Really? Who's the lucky lady?

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[peektuttut]

[Aaand he's smiling a little now.] Her name's Shego. She, uh. She's an inmate. [Totally his Catwoman. :c]

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[batmanschmatman]

[... lol wut.

brb, loling forever.]

God Tim, you really are turning into Bruce.

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[peektuttut]

[Pft. PFT. Dick has had his fair share of crazy, okay. Tim just shoves at his shoulder.]

Am not.

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[batmanschmatman]

[... True. But still, that will get you a shove back.]

Are too.

How long's it been going on?