Dick Grayson (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
batmanschmatman) wrote2012-01-05 06:53 pm
batmanschmatman) wrote2012-01-05 06:53 pm
085 [voice]
So, I know everything's been more or less said and done about that flood, but honestly? I'm still just kind of shocked that for once, I was a kid and came out of it pretty trauma free. [Hell, even if he had actually been mentally fourteen again, things would have been fine. He might have had a weird childhood, but there were good parts of it, and fourteen had definitely been before shit had really hit the fan.
A pause, and then:]
[Somewhat reluctant generous Friends Filter. If you think you're on it, you are.]
Actually, as long as I'm being honest? It helped me realize some things.
I've realized I've spent most of my time here kind of terrified of what was waiting for me back home, and I won't lie, I'm still kind of scared about some of it. I know it all works out okay, now, but there's really no guarantee if I ever leave here I'll remember what I've been told here - [His money is going on that he won't remember, honestly, otherwise things would have gone veryyyy differently. :|] - And I've already lost two parents. I don't need to go through losing another, even if it's going to turn out he was fine. Just... time displaced, or something, so we all just thought he was dead for months.
[A pause. Because, really comic book logic?]
I'm still really not sure how that happened.
But it's going to happen whether or not I want it to, because as much as I might want to? I'm not drastically altering the futures of people I love who say they're happy with how everything worked out in the end, and sitting here pretending like it isn't going to happen is really ridiculous. And something about that flood made me realize maybe this really isn't so bad. There are a lot worse things that could have happened, and I can't hide here forever. And I don't want to anymore.
This isn't a I've had enough, I'm leaving announcement or anything. I've still got a lot of stuff I need to get done here before I seriously think about shipping out for good. But it's nice to not be afraid anymore. Or, to be afraid, but accept that and move forward instead of worrying about it, because everything is going to be okay.
... Kind of embarrassing that it took me a year to figure this out, but, I guess that's better than nothing.
[ooc: And again, comment over on DW here.]
A pause, and then:]
[Somewhat reluctant generous Friends Filter. If you think you're on it, you are.]
Actually, as long as I'm being honest? It helped me realize some things.
I've realized I've spent most of my time here kind of terrified of what was waiting for me back home, and I won't lie, I'm still kind of scared about some of it. I know it all works out okay, now, but there's really no guarantee if I ever leave here I'll remember what I've been told here - [His money is going on that he won't remember, honestly, otherwise things would have gone veryyyy differently. :|] - And I've already lost two parents. I don't need to go through losing another, even if it's going to turn out he was fine. Just... time displaced, or something, so we all just thought he was dead for months.
[A pause. Because, really comic book logic?]
I'm still really not sure how that happened.
But it's going to happen whether or not I want it to, because as much as I might want to? I'm not drastically altering the futures of people I love who say they're happy with how everything worked out in the end, and sitting here pretending like it isn't going to happen is really ridiculous. And something about that flood made me realize maybe this really isn't so bad. There are a lot worse things that could have happened, and I can't hide here forever. And I don't want to anymore.
This isn't a I've had enough, I'm leaving announcement or anything. I've still got a lot of stuff I need to get done here before I seriously think about shipping out for good. But it's nice to not be afraid anymore. Or, to be afraid, but accept that and move forward instead of worrying about it, because everything is going to be okay.
... Kind of embarrassing that it took me a year to figure this out, but, I guess that's better than nothing.
[ooc: And again, comment over on DW here.]
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