013 [video]

[batmanschmatman]

[Dick is wandering around the house, which is a nice, normal looking place. He's particularly focusing on the family photos and any other traces of the people who apparently really live here who happen to look... just like him and some other Barge people. Including apparently Wally. And Tim. Who are both the wrong ages.]

I'm still in the "this could be worse" stage, but not gonna lie, this is pretty freaky. I think I'm a cop. And maybe ten years older.

So, guess we should have a sound off? Who else is totally wigging out a little over this?

... And anyone seen Wally? I think he's [Dear god this is so weird.] my kid.

[Private to Costigan]

You make it off the Barge? You seem to be a popular guest star in some of these pictures. [Meaning it looks like they're both cops. Which is. Fun.]

[ooc: Housemates, neighbors and whoever else are more then welcome to spam. <3]

Comments

[batmanschmatman]

[No, I swear, they're adopted. Wards, yes. Wards. :|]

This is incredibly weird. Do you have kids?

[peektuttut]

[Wards. I fffffffffffffffff at that. :|]

...Yeah. Isaac. [HE DOES NOT EVEN. What the hell.]

[batmanschmatman]

[I join you in your fffffffffffffffffing. :|]

Guess he's the little emo looking kid in some of these pictures. What've you been able to find out?

[peektuttut]

Which means the red-headed step-child is Wally. Apparently, I work - own? a heating company. And I think our...dad opened it. I've got photos of the doctor around. And, uh.

[He found some very nice pictures of his wife, he needs a few seconds.] ...And I'm married to Shego.

[batmanschmatman]

Thought that looked like her in some of the group shots. How's that working out for you?

And I don't think Wally's a step-child, I've got baby pictures. [Which he is now holding up for you. They are very cute.] I've got plenty of pictures of you and the doc around too. Costigan and Donny are in a couple.

[peektuttut]

No idea yet. Haven't found her.

...Remind me to pinch his cheeks next time I see him. [Snort] Seriously?

[batmanschmatman]

Donny's Wally's baseball coach. Or maybe we're having an affair, because apparently he calls me a lot. I think Costigan's my partner.

I'm a cop. [Guess who's excited. c:]

[peektuttut]

[...D'aw, Dick. That actually makes Tim smile.] So does your wife know about this affair?

[batmanschmatman]

[Snerk.] No, we're very subtle about it.

Guess who lives next door.

[peektuttut]

Good. Wouldn't want to be the talk of the town, or anything.

...I'd put money on it being someone I won't like.

[batmanschmatman]

You afraid of the heat it'd bring down on your company? [c wut he did thar]

Wilson. We've got a fence and he's even got an evil looking dog.

[peektuttut]

...Did you seriously just make a pun about our family business?

Okay, I need to know. Do you glare at each other over this fence?

[batmanschmatman]

I did. What're you gonna do about it, big brother?

So far? Yes. Bets that he calls in noise complaints if we ever have a house party.

[peektuttut]

Cut you out of the will, obviously. No heating money for you.

I think we need to have a house party.

[batmanschmatman]

Well damn. Now how am I going to live in the manner of which I've become accustomed?

I like this idea. Bring over the whole family, get some guys from the station over here... it'll be great.

[peektuttut]

Guess you'll have to get a job. Or rely on your sordid affair to support you.

Are you kidding? I'll bring people I meet on the street. And tell them his lawn is part of the party.

[batmanschmatman]

I have a job, thank you very much. And if anything I'm probably supporting him, I'm not sure little league coach pays that well.

Have I ever told you you're my favorite sibling? Because you definitely are.

[peektuttut]

I meant a real job. [But he's honestly teasing, because he remembers how much Dick liked being a cop.]

Given your choices, I never had a doubt. [Fucking Damian. :|]

[batmanschmatman]

What, like sitting around in some office selling heaters is more real then taking in bad guys? Fahk you. [Sob, someone is rubbing off on him.]

Yeah, but I mean it.

[peektuttut]

...[Blink. Blink blink. Tim is trying not to laugh.] Are you secretly a Bostonian?

You'd tell that to anyone who'd be willing to wreck Wilson's lawn.

[batmanschmatman]

Hey, you try being locked in a room with Costigan for a week. I dare you.

Okay, you've got me there, but still.

[peektuttut]

Pass.

...Send Wally over there. Wait - can he still run?

[batmanschmatman]

Chicken.

Nope. He's apparently exhausted himself already and doesn't want to go to school. I told him too bad.

[peektuttut]

Yep.

Tell him he has to pay attention, too. [...So he likes tormenting his quasi siblings, sue him.]

[batmanschmatman]

I'm already learning how to bribe kids with food. It's great. [Fahk you, Timmy. ;|]