029 [audio]

[batmanschmatman]

[There's a short pause between the feed clicking on and Dick speaking.]

My parents were murdered when I was eight. I was there when it happened. It was... [He takes a slow breath.] It felt like my whole life was just falling apart and I had no idea what was going to happen or where I was supposed to go or how I was supposed to live without the two most important people in my life.

But I got lucky, because someone was there that night who knew what it was like to have their parents taken away from them. He took me in, gave me a home and support and made life feel like it was worth living again. I know I got lucky. A lot of kids... A lot of kids lose parents and just end up going through foster home after foster home, and if Bruce hadn't been there, that's probably what would have happened to me. I would have been alone and lost, with no idea what I was supposed to do with my life.

Instead, I got a family. They've helped me become the person I am today and I can't thank them enough for it. I've had an amazing life, even if it's not always sunshine and rainbows, and I love my family more then anything.

... I'll always miss my parents. That hurt never goes away, and there isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about them and wish I could talk to them just one more time, but I...

[...]

I wouldn't trade what I have now for the world.

[... Oh crap. Didn't mean to say any of that out loud, to everyone. Fuck you, floods. :|]

Comments

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[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

[ She's just quiet. Because it wasn't about needing a break. She wants him to believe that it was, but she doesn't want to lie to him. ]

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[batmanschmatman]

[Dick just holds her a little tighter, leaning his head against hers a little.]

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[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

[ She can't help it. She pulls a little away from him. ]

We're all liars.

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[batmanschmatman]

[He lets her, looking at her with some confusion and worry in his expression.]

Well, yeah, but... What do you mean?

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[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

One shining moment of perfect honesty. I can't live up to that.

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[batmanschmatman]

Flood induced honesty.

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[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

Is it bad that I'm jealous?

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[batmanschmatman]

I don't know. I don't really know how I feel about actually... saying that out loud, you know?

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[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

At least... it's nothing to be ashamed of. There's that, right?

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[batmanschmatman]

I guess.

[He's just worried about what Bruce will say. :|]

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[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

I guess that's what I'm jealous of.

[ Time to lounge across your lap. If you thought you were moving in the next half hour or so, you were totally wrong. ]

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[batmanschmatman]

Why? You think if you'd been compelled to spill stuff to the Barge, it would have been bad?

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[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

I don't really have anything good to share that doesn't stem from something horrible.

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[batmanschmatman]

You mean like saying you miss your dead parents, but you sort of selfishly like the life you have now?

[There is definitely some guilt in there.]

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[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

You're happy. Your parents would be happy that you're happy.

You know, because your parents loved you?

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[batmanschmatman]

Yeah.

...I do miss them.

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[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

You're lucky. You had it good, while it lasted.

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[batmanschmatman]

I know.

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[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

[ A deep sigh. ]

One of these days, one of these floods is going to screw us all over permanently.

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[batmanschmatman]

You mean, hi I'm Dick Grayson also known as the vigilante Nightwing?

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[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

More like, hi, I'm Stephanie Brown and I'm secretly a horrible person and the only reason I deserve the things I have is because I worked so damn hard for them by lying, cheating, and being as annoying as humanly possible.

You know, that sort of thing. The things people know about each other, but they don't say, because once you say it you can't take it back and everything changes.

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[batmanschmatman]

Steph, don't say that about yourself.

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[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

It worked, didn't it? As long as people don't know, it doesn't matter. We live on our secrets. One of these days, they're all going to be gone, and what then?

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[batmanschmatman]

I don't know.

[But shit man, is he scared of that day. :|]

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[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

I don't think I'd be so afraid of it if... well, if you guys weren't here. If there wasn't you, and Tim, and now Bruce, and just... everyone who matters.