batmanschmatman | 029 [audio]

[There's a short pause between the feed clicking on and Dick speaking.]

My parents were murdered when I was eight. I was there when it happened. It was... [He takes a slow breath.] It felt like my whole life was just falling apart and I had no idea what was going to happen or where I was supposed to go or how I was supposed to live without the two most important people in my life.

But I got lucky, because someone was there that night who knew what it was like to have their parents taken away from them. He took me in, gave me a home and support and made life feel like it was worth living again. I know I got lucky. A lot of kids... A lot of kids lose parents and just end up going through foster home after foster home, and if Bruce hadn't been there, that's probably what would have happened to me. I would have been alone and lost, with no idea what I was supposed to do with my life.

Instead, I got a family. They've helped me become the person I am today and I can't thank them enough for it. I've had an amazing life, even if it's not always sunshine and rainbows, and I love my family more then anything.

... I'll always miss my parents. That hurt never goes away, and there isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about them and wish I could talk to them just one more time, but I...

[...]

I wouldn't trade what I have now for the world.

[... Oh crap. Didn't mean to say any of that out loud, to everyone. Fuck you, floods. :|]

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[Dick laughs a little more naturally, although he's running a hand over his eyes before moving over to sit down on the bed with her.]

I kind of can't believe I had to announce this because the Admiral's a shitty driver.

[ She's gonna go ahead and lean her head on his shoulder, because that's a lot of emotion. ]

I'm sorry it was like that. I don't think I've ever been that honest in my life.

[And that gets you an arm around the shoulders.]

I'd recommend trying it with private filters. And heavy encryption.

I don't plan on it. Ever. With anyone.

[ Cuddles time. Tis only natural. ]

I'm more of a hinter. It's not actually as effective as you would think.

[Dick loves cuddles. c:]

People do tend to hear what they want to hear.

Yeah, I figured that out around the time I stopped trying to explain myself.

I'm sorry.

[Pauseeee.]

You really don't deserve any of that, you know. We've all made really terrible decisions. It's not like anyone has the right to really judge.

Edited 2011-03-13 08:34 (UTC)

Cause and effect, you reap what you sow, so on and so on. The only decision I thought was a good one is the one I'll never be forgiven for.

I get that.

[ She glances up at him for that. ]

What was yours?

Bludhaven.

Really? You'll never be forgiven? I doubt that.

Even if everyone else on the planet forgave me for what happened, I'll never forgive myself.

That's no fair. I said I thought my decision was a good one.

I thought mine was too.

I still stand by my decision to go to Africa. It sucked, but it was the right thing to do at the time.

Anyone would want a break after what happened.

[ She's just quiet. Because it wasn't about needing a break. She wants him to believe that it was, but she doesn't want to lie to him. ]

[Dick just holds her a little tighter, leaning his head against hers a little.]

[ She can't help it. She pulls a little away from him. ]

We're all liars.

[He lets her, looking at her with some confusion and worry in his expression.]

Well, yeah, but... What do you mean?

One shining moment of perfect honesty. I can't live up to that.

Flood induced honesty.

Is it bad that I'm jealous?

I don't know. I don't really know how I feel about actually... saying that out loud, you know?

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